Update: Driving Drunk Is Not Any Safer With a Lizard in Your Bra

Your Hump-Day Recess: Another Folk Remedy Bites the Dust

driving-drunk-with-lizardIt’s long been accepted wisdom that if you are driving drunk, the way to get home safely is to stuff a bearded dragon lizard in your bra. A recent crash in Taunton, Massachusetts seems to call this age-old piece of advice into question.

Amy Rebello-McCarthy was driving with a friend on Staple Street with a blood alcohol level just shy of double the legal limit of .08., which might not have been a problem had the lizard done its job. But the power of in-bra reptiles to control vehicles is apparently overrated: Rebello-McCarthy knocked over 6 mailboxes, shredded all four of her tires, and ripped her bumpers off.

Her passenger was not a great deal of help – he wasn’t able to recall his first or last name.

New, Non-Lizard Strategy Needed for OUI

Since bearded dragon lizards don’t help, it’s important to work out a strategy that does if you are drinking. One idea is not to drink and drive. This simple procedure, followed by millions of sensible people, has saved countless lives since the dawn of the motoring age.

Sometimes this strategy requires a bit more forethought than inserting an Australian reptile into one’s underwear. It usually requires one of the following:

  • Calling a taxi or a rideshare.
  • Designating a driver before the evening starts. That person does not drink at all, and performs chauffeuring duties. Lizards do not count as designated drivers.
  • Walking or taking public transportation.

There might be other animals which, when placed in a bra, are able to help a drunk driver keep control of a vehicle and drive safely. So far none has been found, and to be honest, we’re not very confident that any will. Until this area of study turns up something, the safest bet for avoiding broken mailboxes, shredded tires, ripped bumpers as well as jail, fines, ignition interlock requirements and an OUI record is to not drink and drive.

Sorry to burst your bubble. We know you were counting on the lizard Friday night.

Your Hump Day Recess: Every Wednesday LifeSafer brings you something a little different, related to the worlds of road safety, to ease your progress over Hump Day and through the week.
Previous Hump Days: a German Ignition Interlock spoof from 1960, our Top 10 Worst Crash Tests, a different kind of Anti-DUI message, Budweiser’s dogged anti-DUI campaign, How Not to Dodge a Parking Ticket, the world’s worst traffic jams, a dramatic buzzed driving PSA , an offbeat ad from New ZealandVince and Larry, our favorite crash test dummies, some excellent Soviet anti-drunk-driving posters, a lesson on how buzzed driving can ruin your love life, South Australia to Drunk Drivers: Grow Up!, a woman calls 911 to report herself for DUI, Felix the Cat and Drunk Driving,  DUIs who crash vintage cars – (ouch!), Woman Unwittingly Creates Self-Driving Car, A Brilliant PSA from Australia, a Road Safety Message in a Vodka Bottle, a PSA about binge drinking that is decidedly “meh,” Drunk Driver Crashes $4 Million Car, Drunk Driving in 1910, a Superb New Think! PSA from the UKDrunk Driving in 1955: New Breath Test Technology Will Save the Day!, the Best Animated Gifs About Drunk Driving, Angle Parking: A Surreal DUI Stop Photo, a Hertz Advertisement that Could Have Used Another Set of Eyes, a Laugh Out Loud Anti-Drunk Driving Ad, How to Beat a Breathalyzer with Peanut Butter … Not!Who Knew? GM Invented the DUI Ignition Interlock in 1970 and a souvenir from back when drunk driving was funny.